Are Your Bad Habits Breaking Your Marriage?

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My daughter, Sadie, has a very typical 11-year-old kind of bad habit: whining. Just for fun one day, I counted the times I had to say the words “tone of voice” to her, and that particular day it was thirteen. Thirteen is at least twelve times too many, so I decided it was time we had a real talk about her bad habit. In the middle of the conversation she said something … [Read more...]

My Mental Illness and My Marriage

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Marriage is hard. Two people with different backgrounds, different baggage, different habits, and different expectations deciding to pledge their life to each other is a recipe for disaster. It’s also a recipe for beauty and holiness. I can honestly say that there is nothing in my life—not motherhood, friendship or family—that has shaped my relationship with God more … [Read more...]

Let’s Talk About Our Husbands

Let's Talk About Our Husbands

Dear Wives of the World, I get it. Your life is crazy-town. I know this because all of our lives seem to be filled with endless rounds of errands, work, kids, homework, sports, church, cooking, cleaning, bills, and—OH, MY WORD—I could go on and on. Just living our lives can be exhausting. There are days when I look at my to-do list and realize several of the things on it I … [Read more...]

How to Treat My Spouse :: 4 Scriptures Worth Memorizing

How to Treat My Spouse :: 4 Scriptures Worth Memorizing

I’m a Louisiana gal, born and raised. If you mention fried shrimp po’boys, I will probably swoon. So when my husband had the privilege of officiating the wedding of one of our students in New Orleans this past weekend, it was just lagniappe ("happy extra") to an already full life. I ate enough calories to last me until Thanksgiving, was completely enchanted by the über New … [Read more...]

When Introverts and Extroverts Marry

When Introverts and Extroverts Marry

I married the big man on campus. When we were in college he was always the center of attention. It seemed like everyone knew who he was no matter where he went, and he could make just about anyone laugh with his stories. Looking back, I guess this was part of what attracted me to him. His dynamic personality was the antithesis of mine, and I was drawn to it. I, on the … [Read more...]

Sex Changes Everything

Sex Changes Everything

You forget to say thank you when he changes the baby’s diaper. You keep washing the dishes in the morning as he walks out the door, not thinking to see him off to work. You can’t remember the last time you and he had a conversation that wasn’t about the house or the kids, or had more than 10 words in it for that matter. You feel estranged, lonely, sad, and wonder why your … [Read more...]

Defending Boredom in Marriage

Defending Boredom in Marriage

“I’m bored.” This short sentence makes my brain swell to exploding, my blood boil, and my need to get in the car and drive to the nearest Barnes and Noble to escape eminent. When my kids utter these words I have so many automatic reactions: “Read a book, go outside, use your imagination….blah, blah, blah.” Or my favorite: “I can give you something to do, aka – chores.” I … [Read more...]

More Time with My Spouse :: Something’s Gotta Give

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When the baby cries to be held one more time. When the daughter wants to be taken just one more place. When the son wants to buy one more game. One more. One more. How close is the rope to fraying? Sometimes just one more pull. One more feeling of pressure, and a snap will come. It’s physics. A rope is created to withstand only so much pressure before it gives. … [Read more...]

Moving from Uncomfortable to Comfortable in My Marriage

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Here we see the “husband” in his natural habitat. Observe as he relaxes after a long day of work. Sitting in his favorite recliner with remote control in hand, he peruses the channels with deep sighs of contentment. In walks the husband’s mate, dressed to go out with her friends. She asks, “Do these jeans make me look like I’ve gained weight?” Suddenly, trapped in a … [Read more...]

Romance Doesn’t Require Giant Gestures

Romance Doesn't Require Giant Gestures

6:00 A.M. I drag myself down the stairs, baby on one arm, dodging dogs in urgent need of the backyard, yawning and thinking only one word: coffee. I reach for the coffee pot and draw back my arm with a stainless steel carafe full of nothing. Usually it is full. Usually it has been set the night before and timed to perfection for the waking of the baby. Usually...my husband … [Read more...]