How to Treat My Spouse :: 4 Scriptures Worth Memorizing

I’m a Louisiana gal, born and raised. If you mention fried shrimp po’boys, I will probably swoon. So when my husband had the privilege of officiating the wedding of one of our students in New Orleans this past weekend, it was just lagniappe (“happy extra”) to an already full life. I ate enough calories to last me until Thanksgiving, was completely enchanted by the über New Orleans venue that was chosen, and made the waitress a little uncomfortable with how excited I got when she offered me shrimp and grits.

How to Treat My Spouse :: 4 Scriptures Worth Memorizing

And to top it all off, my husband is the best preacher there is. Sorry all you preachers out there, but it’s true. It’s kinda like when you think your kids are the most beautiful ever—bias has nothing to do with it… at all.

I always enjoy hearing my husband preach, and listening to him officiate weddings always gives me a chance to hear into his heart about our own marriage. During the message part of the wedding, he gave a little mini-sermon that I had not heard him give before. Since I’m the writer in the family I’m stealing his content because, although the points he shared are excellent for newlyweds, they’re also good reminders for couples who have been married for any length of time. It would do us all well to commit the verses to memory, too. You never know when the Holy Spirit will graciously bring them to mind.

(And no, I’m not just saying that because I was drunk on good Louisiana food…)

Use Your Words Carefully

Verse to Memorize:

“Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” (James 3:5, NIV)

James 3 speaks of the power of words in our lives. Words can be used to build someone up or to tear someone down. This is especially true in the marital relationship with our close proximity to one another on a daily basis. Be sure to be kind in how you speak to one another. Make it your goal to say something encouraging to your spouse at least once a day. Maybe even leave notes for each other. Speak life into your spouse.

It took us a long time to figure this one out in our marriage, but we have come to realize how important it is to intentionally encourage each other as much as we can.

Listen Deeply

Verse to Memorize:

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19, NIV)

Imagine how our marriages could blossom if we memorized this verse and took it to heart! Make sure you are truly listening to your spouse when they speak, not just crafting your response in your head and waiting for them to stop. Ask good questions and then listen to the response. One of the best ways to care for your spouse is to value them enough to truly listen.

It’s a long-running joke in our family that my husband can repeat every single word you said to him back to you but still not have heard what you said. He is the master conversation multi-tasker, which we all know doesn’t work at all. He’s intentionally gotten a lot better about this through the years, but it does take work. All good things do.

Serve Continually

Verse to Memorize:

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45, NIV)

If Jesus Christ, the son of God, got down on his hands and knees and served his disciples rather than sitting on a throne expecting servitude from others, then we can certainly take our dishes to the sink after supper, make sure there are matched socks in the drawer, or even be willing to serve each other with our bodies when we’re not necessarily in the mood.

Right now my husband took our sons out to dinner and to walk around the mall for the sole purpose of giving me some time to write. He’s tired, I’m sure he didn’t necessarily want to, but he is serving me and I love him more for it every day. Find out what truly matters to your spouse and then go out of your way to serve them in that way. The smallest things add up to a beautiful marriage.

Remember your ultimate motivation

Verse to Memorize:

“Be kind and compassionate to each other, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)

Ultimately, how we treat our spouse flows from grasping the depths of grace which we have been given ourselves. Our own selfish nature makes it very hard to remember this sometimes, so we must be mindful of the grace God has given to each of us and also give it to our spouses. Daily.

In our marriage, this takes the form of encouraging each other in our personal walk with the Lord and making sure we have space and time to ourselves. It’s amazing how quickly the ultimate motivation fades into the background when we are personally far from the Lord.

These four little ideas are simple, but that doesn’t make them easy. Like Scripture memory, sometimes the most worthy things require the hardest work.


A member of the MarriageRoots Team, Amy is a wife to a great husband and mother of three crazy kiddos. Former homeschool teacher, former missionary, former.....well, lots of things. Now she lives in the plains of West Texas and enjoys life as a stay at home mother. She writes about the many pieces of her life - Jesus lover, minister's wife, momma, pilgrim through the waters of anxiety and depression. Feel free to drop by, Pieces of Amy, and see what's going on...when the baby lets her write!

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