How to Fight Fairly

How to Fight Fairly

I really like being right. And not only being right, but being completely recognized and acknowledged by everyone in the land as the one who is right. This, um, quality, might be perfectly acceptable if, say, I lived on a deserted island. But as a person living among people—and with a person—it’s proved… problematic. And as a person being conformed to the image of … [Read more...]

Boundaries, Conflicts, & Disappointments :: Hello, Marriage Counselor


My husband and I breezed through the five sessions of our church’s mandatory premarital counseling. We were so in love, and there were no troubles on the horizon. The counselor had suggested that there might be some friction in forming our family unit since we came from such different family backgrounds, but I was too busy with wedding tasks to truly stop and think about such … [Read more...]

Equipped for Every Good Work…Even Marriage


My husband and I had the privilege of “honeymooning” for our first six years of marriage in my grandparents’ home. It had been vacant for about five years after the death of my grandfather, and we enjoyed fixing it up a bit and creating new memories there. Although this home had three bedrooms and one bathroom, it was the definition of tiny. The four closets were at … [Read more...]

The Problem with Viewing Marriage as a Contract


“You do your job, and I’ll do mine.” This is how many marriages function. As long as your spouse keeps his or her end of the bargain, your marriage will last. This begs the question: What happens when your partner doesn’t? I’m often guilty of viewing my marriage as a contract. When my wife doesn’t stick to the “terms of agreement,” I feel victimized by the “heinous … [Read more...]

Handling Different Money Personalities in Marriage

Handling Different Money Personalities in Marriage

When my husband and I married, right out of college, we didn’t have a lot of conflicts over money. Mainly because we didn’t have much. I was driving a 10-year old Maverick (with a case of power steering fluid always on the backseat) and Jesse drove a little Toyota farm truck. I had a little student debt. We rented a house and went to work. As time went on, we gained a … [Read more...]