Caught Off Guard in the Bedroom

Caught Off Guard in the Bedroom

Sex. It seems like such a short, simple word, but it has so much power—power to greatly enrich a marriage or to destroy it. I have personally experienced both sides of this. During a season of my marriage, sex was used as a weapon and became THE issue that caused bitterness and anger between my wife and me. At one of the worst points, I would describe it as a quiet rage that … [Read more...]

Talking about Sex with Your Spouse

Talking About Sex with Your Spouse

My husband and I used to fight about sex. A lot. It was an ongoing war with many battles. If you had told us when we were dating that one day sex would be a hot-button issue in our marriage, we would have thought you were crazy. It was all we could do to NOT have sex back then, so surely when we got married it was going to be incredible. Sex all the time. (Give me a minute … [Read more...]

Sex Isn’t a Trump Card

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Confession: Sex used to give me so much power over my husband. I would freely portion it out and get pretty much anything I wanted. If it had been a long day at the office and I was exhausted, I knew that if I hinted to my husband that he might get lucky later then he would be much more willing to give our baby a bath or help with supper. A few long kisses and he might even … [Read more...]

Why I Don’t Have Sex with the Lights Off

Why I Don't Have Sex With the Lights Off

I am not a supermodel. If you knew me, that statement would probably make you laugh out loud. I am extremely average: average height, average weight (size 12ish, on a good day), and average beauty. I think. So when I say that I never have sex with the lights off, I want you to know that it’s not because I think my body is so rockin’. When I first got married my body was … [Read more...]

Sex Changes Everything

Sex Changes Everything

You forget to say thank you when he changes the baby’s diaper. You keep washing the dishes in the morning as he walks out the door, not thinking to see him off to work. You can’t remember the last time you and he had a conversation that wasn’t about the house or the kids, or had more than 10 words in it for that matter. You feel estranged, lonely, sad, and wonder why your … [Read more...]

MarriageRoots Conversation Card :: 25 Questions to Discuss with Your Spouse to Start the New Year [FREE Download]

Conversation Cards :: 25 Questions to Discuss with Your Spouse in the New Year

Many of us come crawling and limping to the finish line of one year and anxiously await the stroke of midnight that miraculously gives us a clean slate of 12 new months to somehow get things right(er). Even if you're over there rolling your eyes at everyone's new fitness/reading/simplifying/world-changing resolutions, you have to admit that stopping for a few minutes to … [Read more...]

Not Keeping Record in the Bedroom

Not Keeping Record in the Bedroom

When my wife and I got married, my aunt gave us a “treasure box” with an explanation to drop in a quarter every time we, ahem, stopped to “treasure” each other. Later, we found out that the more current version is the “Passion Pig,” where you use a piggy bank for the same purpose. It was all in fun, and my wife started buying up piggy banks for all her unmarried friends. … [Read more...]

Sex Is Killing Our Kids

Sex Is Killing Our Kids

A few weeks ago I met with a group of Christian college students to speak on the topic of Sexual Atheism. Yes, you read that correctly. Sexual Atheism—there is such a thing—and it is most prevalent among Christian college students. Sexual Atheists on the outside look a lot like Christians. They go to church, read their Bible regularly, listen to Christian music, … [Read more...]

What You Can Look Forward to When the Kids Are Gone

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My husband and I hated the empty nest…for the first 15 minutes. Then we looked around at our quiet house and each other and thought: “Hmmm. Maybe…maybe this is going to be okay.” And you know what? It is. It has been. We spent 20 years raising two children to adulthood and then they did what they were supposed to do: they left home. And our lives shifted and buckled … [Read more...]

Your Wife Is Not a Porn Star

Your Wife Is Not a Porn Star

My husband grew up in the “good-ole-boy” South. Football was king, your mom was queen, you pledged allegiance to flag, and porn was a rite of passage into manhood. Not only did his dad introduce him to pornography, but he knew there was ongoing use of it and ignored it in a manly polite way. My husband and his friends would watch it together. It was a normal part of life … [Read more...]